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All these things that I’ve done

2 Jun 11 | Re: Blogging hiatus

It’s always the way, isn’t it? The more you do, the more you have to write about in a diary, the less time you have to actually write about it. That’s why most diaries have pages of minutely detailed accounts of shopping excursions and meal experiments interspersed with the occasional one-liner that says “Ran the London marathon” or “Shot JFK”.

So I do apologise to any regular readers who have been disappointed by the lack of updates - it doesn’t cost anything, does it? - and as an explanation I can only say that I had a fair bit on and got out of the habit. Normal service will now be resumed, and just like the People’s Champion, the Rock, I can guaran-damn-tee that future days and weeks will see the posting rate pick up to round about what it was before.

So far, this post looks suspiciously like one of those awful, awful blog posts that just apologise for there not being more posts. (Some blogs have been known to consist entirely of these.) To avoid that elephant trap, I’m now going to list twenty-four things that I’ve done since my last post - four for each week of not posting. Will it be enlightening or edifying? No. Will it be of any use to posterity? NO. But it will be content, and it is content that is needed to make today’s internet content.

1. I have walked around London with a fez on.
2. I have paid my lawyer’s bill.
3. I have solved a problem that left (one of) Virgin Media’s technical people baffled.
4. I have flown into a rage.
5. I have calmed down and apologised.
6. I have double- or maybe even triple-booked myself for the weekend after next.
7. I have listened to all the Gomez albums in the order that Gomez released them, in preparation for going to see Gomez (except for that somehow-terrible best of).
8. I have ruminated on the different manifestations of cumin.
9. I have dismantled a rack that it seemed could not be dismantled.
10. I have painted the inside of a cupboard.
11. I have performed R Kelly’s Remix to Ignition to what I remember to be a rapturous reception, from a group of my own friends and acquaintances.
12. I have scoured the internet for obscure ID-badge stationery.
13. I have defied the laws of scantion.
14. I have got a bit obsessed with TV’s The Big Bang Theory.
15. I have been a DJ for the first time, and played Chas and Dave.
16. I have found a beer that tastes exactly like Dandelion and Burdock.
17. I have eaten all but one of a dozen home-pickled eggs.
18. I have worked out who would have won the Premiership under First Past the Post (Newcastle!).
19. I have abandoned Economics: A Very Short Introduction as simply too boring.
20. I have given a set of three works of art that I consider terrible to a charity that considered them very nice.
21. I have discovered my hat size.
22. I have forgotten my hat size.
23. I have been and seen a baby gorilla at the zoo.
24. I have disparaged a brunch.

And that’s not even everything I’ve done.

Posted by JOHN ELTON at 18:16

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